so explain again why im purple
no
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
