Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
