just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
