I'm eating all of the evidence.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I think my fart just growled at me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
