i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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