You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
