Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
