I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
