somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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