I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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