So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How's work?
Spinning.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm at about main and main street
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
