after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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