so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
