i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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