UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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