STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
