Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
