i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
