Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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