There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
