After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
