shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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