Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
