i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
one two three fourrrrnication!
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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