Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize