Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize