i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
it was like eating out sand paper
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
