We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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