Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize
