i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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