How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
