I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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