everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
