just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
