In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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