And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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