Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize