Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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