Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
