dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
