Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
