I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize