i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
