im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
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