Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
