best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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