Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
