the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
