her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
