Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
