is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
