Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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