either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
