i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
