I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
