Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
