Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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