Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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