Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
