you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize