I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
