Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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