your parents love me but you hate me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
