I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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