Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
